im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
