ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
