What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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