is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
