I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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