Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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