I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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