she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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