There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
