I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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