Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
