Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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