she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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