real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
