He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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