Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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