tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
this just has baby written all over it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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