I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
