I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
