is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
