Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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