i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
