she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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