I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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