Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just had sex on a roof
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
