i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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