U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
