its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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