The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
