another moral hangover. fuck.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
