You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
