So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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