dude i'm inner monologue high
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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