he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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