I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
