Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
