just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
