Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
