This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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