He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
