Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
