So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
