My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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