I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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