I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
