Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
