her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
