he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
