Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
