that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
