I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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