He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
