I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
