I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
